Long time coming update

It has been many, many months since I updated this blog, primarily because my back starts to hurt if I spend more than about 5 minutes at the computer. That is good news, though, as it is just one of the symptoms of the twin pregnancy I am going through right now.
We just finished up our 26th week, (I can't believe we are this far along) and the babies are looking good. The boy, Frederick, is weighing in at about 1 lb and 12 oz, and the girl, Not Olga (for now) is just one ounce lighter. They are both exactly wher they should be in their measurements, so I feel very much at ease, which is not what I was expecting initially.
I can't say that the pregnancy has not been without its adventures. I started off with extreme fatigue and back pain in the first trimester. I had a little scare when I thought I might have another kidney stone and had to go to the hospital at around week 14. That turned out to be just a sciatic nerve, which was no fun, but went away shortly afterwards. Another challenge has been keeping my sugar levels down, as they seemed a little high early on. I have managed to cut down drastically on my sugar intake, and after 2 glucose tolerance tests, have barely passed without being diagnosed with gestational diabetes.
The biggest challenge I have faced so far has been a terrible rash that broke out all over my belly and chest. It started off as a few bumps around my belly button but quickly became a series of hives completely covering my abdomen and went all the way up to my chin. The doctors thought it was somthing called a PUPPS rash and prescribed a steroid cream. I don't know what I would have done without it. By the time I got to the doctors office, I was hysterical in tears from the extraordinary itching and burning from the rash, not to mention that fact that it had not let me sleep in 4 days. It took about 4 days of using the cream for the rash to start to clear up, but thankfully, it did just that.
I am actually feeling very good at this point in the pregnancy. I have gained weight at a steady pace of about one pound a week, but most of that has gone straight to my belly. That doesn't count, however, the 20 pounds I gained while undergoing the IVF treatment. In the end, I expect to gain about 55 to 60 pounds by the time the twins are born. That is a whole lot'a weight for someone with my 5 foot frame, but I know that it is worth it for the babies to be healthy. I hope that running around after two little ones will help me lose the weight quickly enough.
Today is the first day that the weather has actually cooled off significantly in the last two weeks. We were going through a terrible heat wave, with temperatures in the high 90s to low 100s, which when you're a fatty fat like I am now, is not pleasant at all. On top of that, there are massive wildfires in the mountains to the north of us that have filled the air with smoke and ash. We had pretty good views of the flames at night from our balcony, but thankfully, we are far enough from the fires to not be in any sort of danger. I just can't imagine what kind of a moonscape the forest will look like when this is all over with. I've enjoyed many hikes in our local mountains and will be sad to see them barren.
I am still working, but at a reduced schedule. I am just getting too big to be very useful behind the coffee bar, and mostly get in the way of my staff members. Most of the time I am just handling paperwork, supervising my staff from a chair, and answering customer questions about how big I am and how I must be due any day. I always get an excited reaction from people when they hear "twins." I've always felt that twins are special, but never realized how strongly so many people feel about them.
I will make a better effort going forward to post more regularly, especially as I have more time at home and will soon have nothing but time at home waiting for the babies arrival. I really can't wait.

Sleepy Time

So now that we are a month into this pregnancy thing, I have basically missed most of it because I am most sleeping all of the time. I cannot believe how tired I am. Where did all my energy go? Well, I guess its a good sign that I am sleeping for 2, or maybe 3. We have our first ultrasound this Friday and will find out if 1 or both of the embryos made it. I'm not really sure at this point which would be better, I mean with the economies of scale, 2 wouldn't be bad. Then again, how in the world can I carry not one, but two little Fritzs. I cannot begin to imagine...

Base of Upper Yosemite Falls

This is the base of the falls, above where Fritz and I were married almost 2 years ago. The hike to get to the top was about 4 hours uphill, and close to 3 going downhill, for a total of 7 miles of various switchbacks and some rather steep terrain. We started the hike at the base of the Lower Falls, directly across from the Yosemite Lodge. This is the first time that I ever made this hike. I especially wanted to get up to the top for my 35 birthday, if anything, to prove that I am not that far over the hill. What was surprising was the change in seasons we experienced as we went up the mountain. We started off in the dry, almost desert like sandy switchbacks and as we got higher in elevation, the weather started to change. It got to be a light layer of snow leftover from the winter, and then suddendly, as we got the the base of the Upper Falls, it was full blown snow, up to our knees in some areas. It wasn't really that cold, except for the actual snow, but Fritz seemed rather comfortable in his shorts. The falls actually form a cone of snow as the water collects at the base, which eventually melts and keeps going down to the Lower Falls. These falls are at about 3500 feet elevation and are the tallest waterfalls in the United States. I am so proud that we made it up, and grateful that we made it down in one piece, especially after Fritz spotted a bear at the base on the way back down. We must have looked too worn out to eat.

2 Pink Lines!

Waiting, and waiting

I am currently a nervous wreck as we wait for another 5 days to hear if our embryo transfer was a success. This past Friday we were able to transfer 2 embryos, which is 2 more than on the last round of IVF. Getting to that point, however, does not guarantee that they will safely implant and make it to babyhood. So we wait, and wait, and wait, until we either get a positive or negative pregnancy test on Friday. It is just very strange to leave the doctor's office told that you are carrying 2 embryos, 2 living creatures, but don't get too excited or your hopes up that in 7 days you will actually be "pregnant." I mean, if you have 2 embryos inside of you aren't you at that point, officially "pregnant." I tried to resist the temptation to name them, but I couldn't help it: Tweedlie Dum and Tweedlie Dee. Those are names I can't really get too attached to, right?
In the meantime, we keep, (I say we, but really, who are we kidding) getting shots in the ass every night to support the pregnancy. I'd like to imagine that it hurts Fritz as much as it hurts me to have to give me the shots, but honestly, I doubt it. I think he actually likes it a little bit. He says as much, as if he were kidding, but I don't think he is. In the end, if we end up with a baby, it will all be worth it. If not, well, I will have a polka-dotted rear for a few more months.
We went to yet another baby shower yesterday, for my friend Cindy, who I went to junior high with. I was a little bitter over the last few showers, but now I am at a point where I can really enjoy them and they mostly give me a sense of hope. I know we will get there, it's just a matter of when. It was actually fun, with all of the oohing and ahhing over the cute, frilly little girl things. I thought Fritz was going to explode, but I think he actually enjoyed it a little. He even made himself useful by helping get some of the lemons out of the tree, way up on top, where the little brown people couldn't reach. Horray for big white guys with long arms!

Bed Bugs

How many tails can you count on my bed. I'd say 4. Those are Grendal, Aria, Lazarus, and Dino, of course in a big grey ball. And they say we can't all just get along.

Pin Cushion Time

Despite all of the media hype over Octo-mom, Fritz and I have decided to continue with our second IVF cycle. I have been taking Lupron shots and some Dexamethasone steroids for the last couple of weeks. They have made me, in a word, crazy. I have never had such a short temper in my life. I think I almost ripped one of my poor employee's heads off because the bit that holds the tape roll in the dispenser went missing. I have also flung poor Dino off of the bed in the middle of the night because he meows too loudly when I need to adjust my sleeping position. Well, to be honest, he's probably had that coming for some time now.
We are now on to the happy shots. I started the FSH shots 2 nights ago, which are supposed to start stimulating my ovaries to develop more eggs for retrieval. We visited my RE on Monday, who was optimistic about the 12 antrifollicles we have so far, which is 1 more than the last cycle. We are also taking a more aggressive approach in terms of the drugs this cycle than the last. Of course, I am also not going to be dealing with the kidney stones that I did earlier this year. Overall, I have a million reasons to be more optimistic this time around, but to be honest I am not. I think that the more I learn about this process, the more nervous it makes me and the more I just want to forget about it. Thank God that I have a husband that will push me right back into the deep end even if I am desperate to get out of the pool. Its baby or bust, so I'd better get with the program.

Life's not bad in Mt. Washington. I just hope the secret doesn't get out too soon.

More Cabinet Pictures

Here I am getting started with step 1: Cleaning them up. I removed all of the hardware from this first cabinet, including the interior brackets that allow the drawers to slide out. These must have been top of the line in their day, as they have all of the special pull out drawers, lazy susan corners, and special pull out bins. That's Aria helping me in the background. After getting this fella clean and stripped down to the metal, I primered with Rustoleum using a high density foam roller.

St. Charles Metal Kitchen Cabinets

We have been in our little tree house for over a year and a half now and we are finally ready to start working on the kitchen. Fritz and I found a set of old St. Charles metal kitchen cabinets from the 50s and we thought they would fit in nicely to our remodel plans. First of all, they were cheap. I mean really, really cheap. The entire set cost us $100 plus tax and a few trips to Pacioma in my Ranger. We found them at a place called The Re-Use People, which specializes in recycling building materials that would otherwise end up in landfills from other peoples' remodels or tear-down job sites. They have a wonderful warehouse full of doors, cabinets, windows, you name it. We went to see if we could pick up a couple of small cabinets to fill in some of the gaps in the kitchen. We ended up with this entire set after several months because no one else wanted them and so they practically gave them to us just so they wouldn't end up as scrap.

Now I know what some people (mami) are thinking. These probably should have ended up as scrap, as they are hopelessly old and out of date. Yet I can't help but imagine how cute they will look in our little old kitchen. The construction on our house spans from the late 20s to the late 40s, so a 50s kitchen is probably just what it needs, and hey, for the price, I can deal with a bit of elbowgrease. And speaking of elbow grease, I will be chronicling the work that is going into refinishing these cabinets over the next several months. I just hope to get the work completed before we have any additions to the family.

Insomnia

For at least 2 weeks I haven't been able to sleep. I have never had this problem before, as I can usually fall asleep on command, and stay that way until at least 3 crows of my rooster alarm clock. I think all the stress of the stones and the last IVF cycle may have me a little out of sorts. I will try to stop napping when I get home, although I don't do that terribly often. I fear to even think this horrible thought, but, maybe, I need to lay off the coffee for a while. I went from about 4 cups a day before the cycle to 1 half calf. Now I am creeping back up to about 3. Could this have anything to do with my precious sleeping pattern? I am forced to consider this.

So I finally went through with the stone extraction and "shockwave" to the big kidney stone. I am on my way to recovery. The operation was on Wednesday, two days ago, and I have been taking it easy since. I was surprised at how soar my throat would be, of all things, as they had a breathing tube stuck down my throat throughout. Fortunately, I was already out by the time they inserted it, so I didn't feel or remember a thing until I came out into the recovery room and wondered if they had taken my tonsils out while they were at it. This is what they did: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Extracorporeal_shock_wave_lithotripsy.
It was pretty scary, but I am glad I went through with it, as for the last couple of days I have been spewing out little bits of gravel that once were the offending stone and I know it won't be bothering me anymore. Once this ordeal is behind me I can continue with our next IVF cycle. We are hoping to start up my meds this month so that we can stimulate and extract sometime in late March. I guess even if it works out, it will be too late for an '09 baby, but better late than never, and it is still a big "if."
To be honest, I am not looking forward to another cycle, especially after the heartbreak, expense, and complications during the last one. I just really, really want a baby in my arms. If I have to go through with this in order to get closer, then I will, but I just wonder if I am not just delaying the inevitable adoption question. I hate to be so negative, but I guess it is easier than getting too optimistic and then let down. On the positive side, I know that eventually, I will have my baby, and then I will look back and wonder what all of the fuss was about.

New Toy

The good news is that I just got a new HP desktop computer with all the bells and whistles. My living room is a disaster of boxes, styrofoam, and twisty ties, but I finally got it all set up and most of the programs installed. I decided to bite the bullet and go with a desktop after probably 10 years of exclusive laptopping. I can't believe how affordable computers have gotten. I still remember my first Mac, I think it was before the first Powerbook, and it cost something like $2500 and was basically a fancy word processor.
I don't know too many people that have gone from Mac to PC, as it's usually the other way around. I was burnt too early on by Apple, and the scars go deep. I am not ready to go back. Besides, I am already in love with my HP. I wanted a desktop with a good graphics card to support some of the CADD I am learning and most of those programs run better on PCs. (Sorry Steve Jobs, your marketing has no effect on me.) I hope to be able to publish some drawings of the kitchen I am working on, once I get them drawn, of course. In the meantime, I will post some pictures, soon, I promise.

Get OUT!

That's what I say to these awfull kidney stones that seems to be taking over my life. After much stalling and hoping that the stones will pass on their own, the docs and I have concluded that there is no better hope than to go in and get them out. I will be undergoing a 2 part procedure, which involves a "shockwave" to the kidneys in an attempt to break up the big ones in the kidneys, and an actual extraction of the stone in the urethra, closer to the way out. They will probably leave a stint inside the urethra so that the fragments of the bigger stones will have an easier way to go out. It sounds like a horrible and painful procedure, thus the stalling, but they are hurting and irritating me so much that I can't imagine just waiting any longer and I doubt they will be able to pass on their own. I am hoping the doc will be able to let me at least get a picture of the stone that they remove so I can post it.
In other bummer news, our last IVF cycle did not go so well. We got 4 fertilized embryos, but none of them made it to the 5-day blastocyst stage, at which they would have been implanted. Dr. B says that they probably were chromosomally abnormal and that we will take a more aggressive approach to the next cycle. That means more drugs, which mean more $$$.
Unfortunately, I am not sure when we will go through the next cycle. We were hoping to take February off and start up again in March, but as the stone issue has not been resolved, we have decided to wait until it is. I cannot imagine actually pulling a pregnancy off only to risk it by having an operation 3 months into it or so. I also cannot imagine going through 9 months of pregnancy with the stones in place and not being able to take any "good" painkillers. God willing, this procedure will go well and we can start to focus back on the family building efforts.

New Year, New Hope

And I'm not talking about Obama!
I am excited and nervous to report that we have taken a major step in our family planning and have just undergone an egg retrieval for our first (and hopefully last0 IVF Cycle. I have been going through about a month of daily injections, frequent doctor's visits and blood draws, not to mention all the pill-popping, but hopefully we are getting to the beginning of the end.
Yesterday Dr. B extracted 9 eggs from my ovaries and today I received the fertilization report over the phone. They said that 6 of them were mature and 4 actually fertilized. It might sound like alot, compared to the usual 1 egg per cycle of normal ovulation, but these are actually very low numbers for IVF. Someone my age can usually expect 15 to 20, but I have a low ovarian reserve, so we are quite pleased with the low number we got. It's much better than I expected. We have to wait 5 days total to see if all or any of those fertilized eggs get to blastocyst stage. Sounds very high-tech, well I guess it is. I will be crossing my fingers and trying to stay distracted until Wednesday. In the meantime, I have many projects to do and will fill in more details on this whole IVF thing in future posts.